There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.
Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them-hope marie lawson
What’s the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One’s got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
My syndrome may be down but my hopes are always up
You know, I got a SKELETON, of these jokes, all are HUMERUS, yeah, this get’s Under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening, hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, In the 1980’s they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash and no Hope!
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will. Sadly, no pun InTenDid.
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with “Hey girls, would you like some candy?” They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says “God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes”
My syndrome may be down but my hopes are up !
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers”.
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
i told my friend to watch naruto, it’s been a week since i’ve seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece
So, I know that there are a lot of egg YOLKS on this website, and I guess I got BEAT to it, but I’m EGGcited to say EGGsactly what the eggs say. I know I;m bad at this but I hope you will crack up anywat
To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope your happy now
(Jokes for people with cancer) 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don’t have to do this class anymore. 2: I’m dying, finally. 3: I’m sorry, I can’t go to your party because I’m expected to be dead by then. On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I’m getting checks. I hope for the best :/.