To whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now
one day I came to my mom and said "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
mom: "no you can't.."
me: *throws butter out the window* me: "look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that
My syndrome may be down but my hopes are always up
Cremation: My last hope for a smoking hot body.
Theres an outbreak of the foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok
Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
i love murder shows... wish me luck cause im kinda hoping to be on one one day
After getting in the White House, D.Trump gets a letter.... ... from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggest Trump to ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary: Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down.
There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
I hope both the sides of your pillow are warm tonight
My favorite animal is a cheetah so I hope the jokes are good
What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One's got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
To the guy who stole my depression medication, I hope you're happy
I was watching the local chief police in America, he said we will never forget 911. I thought i should hope not its your phone number.
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices
