You know why they call me 007? 0 girls 0 chances 7 restraining orders
Why do butts always win at poker?
They always hold the best PAIRS!
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
Why did the rapper carry an UMBRELLA?
Because he heard there was a 50% chance of "Lil Wayne"
Girls are like blackjack.
I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.
I didn't ask: ❌
I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️
Doctor: what is your zodiac sign?
Patient: cancer why?
Doctor: what are the chances
Patient: of what?
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
I saw you when I got chance at the adoption centre 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
Everyone Thought I'd have a great year............... 14 years just gave me more chances
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
Without Ronaldo, United would have been: - Eliminated from the UCL in groups😠 - 13th in the league😱
Without Messi, PSG would have been: - Still 1st in the league💀 - Better chance at beating RM in the UCL 👻
Who's supposed to be the goat??
Why did the African win the food eating contest?
Beginner's luck.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation
