I joined a emo class today the first lession I learnt was slice and dice and let it flow.
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house
Q: What is germany's favorite board game? A: nahtzee (yahtzee)
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee? Cause they don't know what a full house is :(
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The KING took a shit on the craps table at the casino
In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.
The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.
The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.
The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.
So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.
I don’t drink, don’t swear, don’t smoke, shit, I left my cigerates at the fucking bar! (Andrew Dice Clay.)
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear
