Chance

Chance jokes

Wheelchair

    • You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?

    They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?

  • 1

    • Pineapple

    • Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.

    The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.

    The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."

  • 3
    • Chance memes

    Man

    • I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.

    What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.

  • 6

    • Risk

    • I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.

    It was a Risk I was willing to take.

  • 0

    • Life

    • All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.

    Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

  • 0

    • Relationship

    • Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.

    Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!

  • 2

    • Bullying

    • My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.

  • 2

    • Purgatory

    • A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.

    The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"

    He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.

    Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"

  • 1

    • Information

    • I didn't ask: ❌

    I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️

    Difference

    • What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.

  • 1

    • Relationship

    • Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

    Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.

    Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

    Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

    Karien: That is so boring!

    Daiana: Well just work with me please?

    Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!

  • 6

    • Coincidence

    • In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.

    Girlfriend

    • One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."

  • 0