Odds

Odds jokes

Position

    • "Dad, what is 69?" asks son.

    Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."

    Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"

  • 4

    • Politics

    • A boy asks his father:

    "What is politics?"

    Father answers:

    "It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.

    Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.

    Our maid is the working class.

    Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."

    The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.

    Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.

    The next day his father asks him:

    "So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"

    The boy says:

    "Yes, it’s all become clear to me!

    Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."

  • 1
    • Odds memes

    Mermaid

    • A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

    As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

  • 2

    • Priest

    • Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?

    Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.

    Father

    • Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

    Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

  • 1

    • Disease

    • A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!