Celebrity jokes
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend. She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
Why is he sooo dam fineee?
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
What's white and comes in little cans?
Michael Jackson.
Hey sisters
What's the most horrifying video in the world?
Logan Paul vlogs.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Why can't Juice Wrld play Black Ops II?
Because he can't handle 6 perks.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
What did Nicki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
"Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.
Ariana Grande
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.