Hollywood jokes
Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?
Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.
I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
