How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
Singer Jokes
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"You have a great singer inside you."
Fair point.
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
