I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

Rainbows TOP the class as they always score with flying colours

The colours red, white and blue are the colours of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

What’s a cat’s favourite colour? Purrple

I love ❤️ jokes

Whats a hamburgers favourite colour? -Burgundy


The sky never changes colour but when it does we know how your breath is increasing

What’s Helen Kellers favourite colour? Corduroy.

What colour is a burp? BURPLE!

I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colours.

What is my favourite colour? Yellow

What is an astronauts farfit colour? Zoo

What is your favourite colour

My son asked me “ what is angel cake made of?” I reply by listing the ingredients in mr Kipling angel cakes, Then he shouts “STOP” I stop as I reach food colourings he slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper “well in my angel cake I put angels in them” I freaked out about this so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake he said”grandma the one who died last Saturday”

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite.

Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.

Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though.

Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!

Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead.


Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile!

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.

Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you!

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying “I AM KING OF THE WORLD!”