Celebrity

Celebrity Jokes

Artist

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.

The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.

"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.

Kelly Clarkson

What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?

A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.

Donald Trump

Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....

Johnny Depp

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.

Wall

What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

Their last big hit was the wall.

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  • Kelly Clarkson

    People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

    Michael Jackson

    During a phone call:

    "Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"

    "Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."

    Paul Walker

    Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?

    He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."

    Mp3

    I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

    Carrie Underwood

    How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?

    Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.

    Cheat

    How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.

    Michael Jackson

    What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.

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  • Princess Diana

    How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

    They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...