Celebrity jokes
How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
I would tell a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
What did Sophie Brussaux's baby get every week?
A face full of sperm.
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Foi o Chuck Norris que fez o parto da sua mãe.
Yo mama so fat that John Cena couldn’t get her down with an Attitude Adjustment!
If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."
Your hairline is so bad that KSI's hairline actually looks normal.
Did you all hear about the newest gay celebrity couple? Yeah, John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn.
What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson's butt? You hit rock bottom.
Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?
The steering wheel.
What NFL teams parts with James Charles!?
Green Bay Packers & New England Patriots
Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.
I bet Kobe failed flying school.
Where do orphans go to celebrate graduation?
Their parents.
What did they find on Chris Rock's face? Fresh prints.
Amber Heard Daily Routine:
Get out of bed, drink coffee, take a shit on Johnny Depp's bed.