Celebrity jokes
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
I asked Michael Jackson when did he lose his virginity. He just replied with "HEHE!"
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?
Billie's Jeans.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
Paul's favorite car.
A Carrera GT.
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little wieners.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite snack? 5 year old whiners.