Actress jokes
What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:
"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
Why do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:
TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
My girlfriend's a porn star.
She'd kill me if she found out.
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 馃槀馃槀馃槀
I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.
My family chastises me for MY job, but you should hear how my family provides "customer service" at their jobs. My mother works as a social worker and answers the phone like, "DYFS, you beat em, we treat em." My grandmother is a Medical Examiner and she answers the phone like, "City Morgue, you kill em, we chill em." These bitches have no class! I'm an actress and studio secretary. When you call the studio, I answer the phone professionally like, "Good afternoon. IHOP, International House Of Pussy. Creampie Cassie speaking."
When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."
Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.
One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.
Her (DYM 121).
Freya Walker is a feminist.
Addison in bra.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
Community talk
Tim Burton getting Jenna Ortega in a cat suit was his biggest accomplishment