Celebrity jokes
What do you call a singer who can't make a song?
Taylor Swift.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
Halloween. The day we celebrate your face.
What do you call a Black Iron Man?
Robert Browny Jr.
Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.
“Life is going swimmingly,”
“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.