Car Jokes

I braced my self when i got in the car but then i realised my wife wasnt driving

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Stacy:: honey I'm kinda new to texting what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, lots of love I guess

Margert: Stacy are you there, I don't know if you heard but Amber and her 3 kids were killed in a car crash this morning I'm in total shock

Stacy: lol

Why did the dog cross the road? It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

there was a kid and a historian in a museum about ww2 and were looking at hitler in a car doing the nazi salute. The kid said, “why is he putting his arm in the air?”. The historian said “indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the third reich

Kid: hey mum why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: shut up son you’ll wake your father!

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

What does an asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

Some Ting Wheely Wong

A profession golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?" "Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive." "Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Blonde starts new job at local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.... The gentleman has a good look round before saying to the blonde 'it looks perfect....But Cargo space?' To which she instantly replied 'Oh I'm Sorry sir, Car only for road.

2 drunk men spot a pig on some old farmers land.And they were real hungry (or so they said) and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.And so they did and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said "well goddammit if it was a pig they wanted why didn't they just take my wife".

What is a dog that you can drive? A big dog 🐶 car 🚘

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk tp the nearest gas station a few miles back. One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.