Car jokes
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.
Yaaaass
Why do tryhards use Fennecs? It looks better than the Octane.
Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.
Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!
I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
I drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was... Oh, CRAP!!!
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.
What do blonde chicks and Asians have in common?
They both drive with their blinker on.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
If blind people could play go-kart, it very quickly turns into bumper cars.
What do you call a Mexican with an m3?
A greaser.