Car Jokes

Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?

Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.

Stig

You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.

What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!

The image is a four-panel comic featuring the Chad meme character. In the first panel, a woman asks, "Are you training this hard to impress me?" In the second panel, the buff Chad says "No" while holding a dumbbell. In the third panel, Chad is next to a car and car battery saying, "Don't worry grandma, I'll throw your old car battery in the ocean." In the final panel, an old woman says "I LOVE YOU!".

A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?

B: Why?

A: Because she has no arms.

Knock, knock.

B: Who's there?

A: Not Sally.

Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?

B: I don't know, why?

A: Because Sally was driving the car.

My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?

Asked when will they do up the cars!

My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.

What's the difference between when I opened the window in a car wash and when Kawhi Leonard did it? At least my dad didn't get shot in the eye.

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?

Who's Paul Walker's close friend?

Tree.

Why does Zac say he works at McDonald's? Because Aaron go errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?

His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!

I’m going back to the house to get some stuff for my dad, and then I’m going to have a car and a birthday party come up for the weekend at the end of the week. I was going to get my birthday cake for the day.