Car Seat

Car Seat jokes

Beer

One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.

Baby

Q: Why did the baby cross the road?

A: It wasn't in its car seat.

Sister

Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.

Accident

Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.

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  • Car

    Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"

    Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."

    A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.

    Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."

    Woman

    What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.

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  • Difference

    What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?

    I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

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  • Community

    When I was 5 my mom got mixed up with a drug deal gone wrong and they shot up my mom blue Toyota and my brother was right beside me and a bullet went straight through my car seat almost killing me