Car jokes
What's a rapper's favorite type of car?
A Rhyme Rover.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Where would the next Formula race happen?
Answer: On your flat chest.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂