Car jokes
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Memes
What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?
The fish can't go fast.
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
When are you from Iowa? You know!!! 🚗
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
What's a rapper's favorite type of car?
A Rhyme Rover.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.