Car jokes

Why do tryhards use Fennecs? It looks better than the Octane.

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?

The fish can't go fast.

What goes boo in a car with no lips?

When are you from Iowa? You know!!! 🚗

What does a car have when it's very itchy?

A road rash.

I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.

Why did the frog take the bus to work?

His car got toad.

What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?

The sound when they hit the windshield.

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

Police officers hope you’re a criminal.

Doctors hope you get sick.

Mechanics hope you get car troubles.

But only thieves wish you prosperity.

Weird?

How did Helen Keller drive?

One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.

Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?

A. The little girl in my trunk.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.

What is it called when you have four white people in the car?

Clear windows.