Car

Car jokes

Week

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

Driver

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

Reason

I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.

Difference

What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?

The sound when they hit the windshield.

Relationship

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.

Sticker

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

Assassination

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

Thief

Police officers hope you’re a criminal.

Doctors hope you get sick.

Mechanics hope you get car troubles.

But only thieves wish you prosperity.

Weird?

Drive

How did Helen Keller drive?

One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.

Girl

Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?

A. The little girl in my trunk.

People

What is it called when you have four white people in the car?

Clear windows.

Chest

Where would the next Formula race happen?

Answer: On your flat chest.