Car jokes
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
When are you from Iowa? You know!!! 🚗
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.