Car jokes
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
Memes
I didnβt know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
Why do tryhards use Fennecs? It looks better than the Octane.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! π
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, thatβs how far behind I am!"
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.