My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin. At least now I can have his phone he left.
Guy : are you depression cause you're crippling me Car driver : no I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you Guy : don't worry I was already crippled because I got crippling depression
I went out for a drive, and attempted to drift on the road, it didn't end well for me, or fo the speed bumps I hit. *wait. there isn't any road bumps* *o h s h i t.*
Mom I’m pregnant are you drunk why because your boy
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger
I was in the car and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy an a,m like what the
whats the difference between stephen and a car. a car loses oil, stephen loses the ability to walk
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times 😏
What car does Hitler drive?
A fuhrerri.
a mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car and passenger asked where are we going and the mexican says im not driving the drunk guy
What is the difference between a human and a magic car 🚘? A magic car 🚗 can fly and a human can not fly
the cat ran across the road when the car swerved it killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut, the cat survived it all, the cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car... the cat still died why? It had a Catastrophic Catcident
why couldn't the penguin cross the road?It was ran over🐧
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one
Potato
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit, he slams on his brakes, gets out and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired. A passing car slams on it’s brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny pulls out an aerosol can and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The Bunny jumps up runs a few feet, then stops, turns around and waves it’s paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight. The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says “Wow that is amazing, what is in that can” the man looks at the can and reads the label “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave”.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people? I'D HIT THAT
What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?
"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE”
“I’m going through a lot of things right now,” I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.
What is a car 🚗 that runs and can T
