Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down It gets toad away
why did the orphan cross the road
so he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents
your hairline is that far back that i cant even back out of my car
Q. What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A. The little girl in my trunk.
How did helen keller drive
One hand on the wheel one hand on the road
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off? He's all right now
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
