Car jokes
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
It’s disappointing that Los Angeles doesn’t offer better transportation, especially since my neighbor offers free mustache rides every night.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Memes
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
What is it called when you have four white people in the car?
Clear windows.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.