Car Jokes

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?

To get his RHYMES in TUNE

What's a rapper's favorite type of car?

A RHYME ROVER

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, That some dick cut her off.

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What's the difference between a speed bump and rode kill

About 40 mph

Police officers hope you’re a criminal. Doctors hope you get sick. Mechanics hope you get car troubles. But only thieves wish you prosperity. Weird?

What’s the difference between a fly and lady Diana ? The sound when they hit the windshield

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

2 guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. Cop taps the window, window rolls down. "goodevening gentlemen, we're looking for 2 pedophiles."

Guy quickly closes the window. 10 seconds later he lowers it again and says: "Ok, we'll do it."

John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety

why did the frog take the bus to work? His car got toad.

You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car and I will be there in a couple of hours would you be able to pick them out at your house and I will pick you up and I will be at your place at your convenience I can get them in a little while I’m at the park bye

An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal." The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"

Yesterday i tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were and that made her cry harder. So then i adked her where her house was and she said with tears "i dont have one" so i got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was a orphaninch.

My wife was run over

A Pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly the man answers I dont wake up the kids.