Car jokes
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, thatβs how far behind I am!"
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
Memes
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
What's the difference between a speed bump and a road kill?
About 40 mph.
Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.
I didnβt know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! π
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.