Car

Car jokes

Bullet

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

Fish

Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

Traffic

A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."

The officer said, "There is no traffic."

The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"

Orphan

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

Brake

Why do the brakes keep squealing?

Because the driver hit it too hard.

Road

Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.

Milk

My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.

Road

Why did the kid cross the road?

Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! πŸ˜‚

Crash

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

Emo

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

Mamma

Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.

Bed

Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?

Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...

Fennec

Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?

They have the same hitbox.