Car Jokes

So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage

Rapboat steals more rhymes than black people steal cars

What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?

"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE”

A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?........ Aaaawwwww I got dicklash

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby its a "choice". But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children its called "murder".

They said I couldnt drive. now they know i cant cause they are all dead

why can't helen keller drive cause shes already dead

What has a magic car 🚙? A magic dog 🐶

What car do elves drive? Toy-yodas

why did Paul walker died because he crashed a car in a tree

my departed uncle was a circus clown before he died

so all his friends came in one car

mom tells her son to go to the other kid to walk to the kid just standing still to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car(but her son was blind the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap and the kid died because he couldn't hear he was deaf)

why did itsfunneh go on the road she so draco looking at car then the car runs over him sad draco

46. I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

52. What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

54. What is the difference between Iron man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

Stephen hawkings shows up to a car meet up

whats Stephen Hawking favourite type of car on fire? Hot wheels

Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!

What's the worst part of about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car? Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half

A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?" She points off the cliff and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside all mangled and dead. The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."