Car jokes

Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.

Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.

Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?

So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

This car in RC-XD.

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

What goes boo in a car with no lips?

What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?

The fish can't go fast.

What does a car have when it's very itchy?

A road rash.

When are you from Iowa? You know!!! 🚗

What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?

The sound when they hit the windshield.

"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.

You can get the park in the park with you if I have park in your car, and I will be there in a couple of hours. Would you be able to pick them out at your house, and I will pick you up, and I will be at your place at your convenience. I can get them in a little while. I’m at the park. Bye.

Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.

My wife was run over.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!