Car jokes
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Your mamma is so fat that she saved me a lot of money by sitting in my car when I wanted to buy a low rider.
What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?
The fish can't go fast.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
When are you from Iowa? You know!!! 🚗
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.