Why do tryhards use Fennecs? It looks better than the Octane.
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she is a girl.
I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.
Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?
Because they'll cause a car crash.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
To which the boy replies, "No."
The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.
At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
"Shut up," she replied.
The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"
But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.
But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.
But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.
The boy replies, "Shut up."
"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."
The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"
The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"
The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
