Can Jokes

Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?

Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.

The orphan: What is home?

Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.

*puts in trash can*

So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.

The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"

Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".

I commented back to you and portory.

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"

A photo of a city skyline at sunset with the Star Wars opening crawl text overlayed onto the sky. The text reads, "...Jedi... to assist the overwhelmed ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC on the critical issue of creating..." above a city at sunset. The text above the photo reads, "Thanks to less air pollution, the sky is so clear we can see the Star Wars opening text."

How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?

Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"

You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.

Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.

🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.

No, not like you can ketchup!

Do you think I can shoot a basketball?

I make it dip like water.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"

Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.

Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!

Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.

Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?

Can you guys check out my joke, please?

What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?

Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?

Brother: Why though?

Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.

Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?

A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)