Can jokes

OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.

Only Cans.

After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,

Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"

"Brian, can I see that paper for a sec?"

I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!

Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.

Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.

Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.

Hey Abygail ;) can we talk? I just wanna say that you prob are sexy :)

Can you guys check out my joke, please?

Do you think I can shoot a basketball?

I make it dip like water.

Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!

Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.

You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.

Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?

How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?

Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"

🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.

No, not like you can ketchup!

Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.

If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...

Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?

Brother: Why though?

Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.

What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"