How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
What is a plane ✈️ that can not fly?
A fake one ☝️
Why is your forehead so shiny? Did somebody laminate you? You're so shiny, Mulan can look into your forehead and sing "Reflection."
Can I put my baaaalls in yo jaaaaws?
Why was the fanny flat?
So it can flop about.
"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?
Chew when you swallow!
What can you do for a magic house?
Make it fly!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk, walk home? Was your night night? You had fun? I had dinner, night time, and a tree. I had dinner. Is it a magic time? Dinner! I have been home. Was good.
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.
Your butt is so fat, I can remove 90% of beauty with a tissue.
There are two doors leading to Heaven: one for henpecked husbands and one for unhenpecked husbands. The line to the door leading to Heaven for henpecked husbands was five abreast and five miles long. The line leading to the door to Heaven for unhenpecked husbands consisted of only one lonely man.
The guys from the henpecked husband line looked at the one man in the unhenpecked husband line and shout, “Hey, Charlie, why are you standing over there for?” Charlie glances over his shoulder and observes a sea of humanity of henpecked husbands as far as the eye can see and says grudgingly, “I don’t know. My wife told me to stand here.”
Everyone give this joke a thumb's down and see if it can become the worst rated joke on the site.
Your hairline is so bent, not even NASA can find it.
Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?
Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?
Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.
Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.
Son: And you got $0.00.
Trump can get banned. The cops can tack him to jail, and Trump go go go go bye bye for good. Trump is meing.
So my sis thinks she's so smart. She said, "You can finish this move ten minutes later. Go to sleep."
"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a computer screen, and then they can see the government has to get Chili's."
