Can jokes

Why can't men play baseball?

Because no one can take the word "balls" seriously anymore.

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.

I'm sorry, but I can only process text. Please provide the joke as text.

Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.

What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.

I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.

Where can you donate an aborted fetus?

Your local pizzeria.

Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.

Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.

Yo head so big I can skate on yo head.

I'm talking bout real real big, set a plate on yo head, charge a phone on yo head, build a home on yo head, studio wide, write a song on yo head.

"Back To The Future"-Doc: You can time travel to anytime in HISTORY, Marty, but NEVER go to the year 2021.....

Me: Mrs., can I read my book?

Teacher: Sure.

Me: *watching my Chromebook*

Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.

You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.

Why can an orphan not do school work?

Because they have to take their work home to their parents.

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.

What question can you never answer yes to?

Answer: Are you asleep yet?

"Gwen, can we talk..."