Can Jokes

I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.

So it can cut itself.

"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

Yo head so big I can skate on yo head.

I'm talking bout real real big, set a plate on yo head, charge a phone on yo head, build a home on yo head, studio wide, write a song on yo head.

What question can you never answer yes to?

Answer: Are you asleep yet?

The image contains three sections. The top two show separate cows on roofs, a black cow and a brown and white cow. The bottom section depicts a cow dressed as a soldier, wearing a helmet, sunglasses, and holding a gun, in front of two other cow soldiers.

What has to be broken before you can use it?

Answer: An egg.

I just bought a book about lamps...

So I can do some light reading over the weekend.

Can you be my daddy? 🍌😘😉

What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.

As you can see here, Jessie is wearing a lot of concealer.

Jessie?

"Soph, can we talk?"

I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.