Can jokes
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
What did Vegeta say to Bulma?
What?
Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.
Your hairline is so deep people can see what you're thinking.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.