Can jokes
Why can you trust a donut? It tells the hole truth!
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human being is the one who can drive.
If you are a robot, you cannot talk.
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Opponent fist attacks your face, no you can not activate a trap card.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.
All you pro-life Christian motherfuckers can go die, lol.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod