Can jokes
They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.
How can you never find a hippo hiding behind a weed?
Because they're so good at it.
Your mama is so skinny she can dodge raindrops.
I want to be a bag so we can be together.
What's the difference between me and Spongebob?
Spongebob can actually get ripped.
Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.
Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?
Hug his parents.
You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.
You can't see me, but when I smile, you can.
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!
Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.
🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵
My guy: I have a Q-Tip.
Me: You can Q my tip.
My guy: Ayo!
Anybody can use this :)
Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.