Can jokes
I feel weird to ask this, but can anyone guess my real name?
#Imbored
Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.
Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.
What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
Answer: A promise.
Memes
I just bought a book about lamps...
So I can do some light reading over the weekend.
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
Every bad joke can become a good joke with a good delivery, but abortion jokes, they have no delivery.
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
Yo, edgeline go so far back that I can now mow a lawn perfectly.
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?
Nostalgia hits you like a train.
It's so hard, you can even wake up.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."
"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."
Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴