Can jokes
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
Where can you donate an aborted fetus?
Your local pizzeria.
Yo, edgeline go so far back that I can now mow a lawn perfectly.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
Memes
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."
Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"
The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...
What college can Stephen Hawking not go to? Spelman University.
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
The name is Doe, Dilbert Doe. You can call me Dil.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
For he can be wanted.
🇻🇪 Finally, I am a trillionaire. Now I can buy bread.
What did Vegeta say to Bulma?
What?
Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)