Can jokes
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
What is a home that can fly?
A magic house!
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
Deez nuts, can we get much higher?
Boioioioing boioioioing, my name Jeff.
Arabic Nokia ringtone, bingchungus, wholesome 100, everyone liked that, Keanu Reeves chungus, Ugandan Knuckles, YouTube poop XDDDDDDDDDDDD.
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
Who can relate?
NOT A RICK ROLL https://youtube.com/shorts/nnEQ5aWyO9U?feature=share
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
One thing you can ask Mario:
"Can you jump up and down for me?"
Can teachers give homework to orphans?
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.
Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...
You're so bald, I can see what's on your mind.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?
Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?
The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.