Can jokes
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Opponent fist attacks your face, no you can not activate a trap card.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.
"Why?" said her friend.
"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"
"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.
"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?
New Yorkers.
What time is it when you can walk home from school today and walk?
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?
Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.
What do you call a school that can talk?
A school with a face!
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.