Can jokes
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
Why can you say "Kobe" even though you missed?
Because he didn't land either.
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.
Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
Your face is so big that not even you can see it.
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
But numbers can. (Lol)
"Hey Kenya, can we talk please!"
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"