Librarian jokes

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?" The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet." "Yeah, that's the one!"

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.

The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"

A man walks into a library.

Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"

Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"

Suicidal Man: ...

Librarian: ...

The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

At the library, I got in trouble for putting a cooking book in the women's section.

A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

Librarian: What are you looking for?

Man: I am looking for a book!

Librarian: Which book?

Man: Facebook.

I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.

This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"

I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you!"

A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."

A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"

My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”

My dick was in the book of world records.

But then the librarian asked me to take it out.

My cock was in the book of world records...

The librarian told me to take it out.

I asked a librarian if they had a section with Rocky Horror books.

She said: "Sure, just take a jump to the left and then a step to the right."

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.