Call jokes
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why is a priest called "father?" It's too weird to call them "daddy."
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
When you see your friend, you call the police, but they just moan.
You walk inside a building, then you see a blind German, then you call him his name.
Answer: Nazi.
relations-
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
What do you call a trash bin for 9/11?
Osama Bin Laden.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
The pastor of the local church calls on the congregation for volunteers for Bible sales.
A gentleman with a severe stutter approaches the pastor after Sunday service.
"I-i-i... I-i-id like to v-v-v-v-vol-vol-vo-volunteer to s-s-s-se-sell b-b-b-bi-b-bibles, f-fff-f-f-fa-fa-father..."
"That would be wonderful, my son. We'll start you with one box. Please go door to door throughout the community and sell what you can. You can give these away, but donations are always accepted since the word of God is the most important message."
"T-t-t-t-th-th-th-thank you f-ff-f-f-f-fa-fa-fath-father... i-i-i-i-i-i-I'll s-s-s-s-se-se-sell what I c-c-c-cc-can..."
The pastor sends the man on his way.
About an hour later to the pastor's surprise, the stuttering man returns with an empty box and $200 cash.
The pastor is completely shocked, but is ultimately filled with joy as the church could use the funds more than ever, not to mention the community is that much closer to God's message.
So without asking questions, he happily sends the stuttering man on his way with 2 more boxes of Bibles.
"T-t-t-t-t-t-th-th-th-th-tha-thank you f-ff-f-f-f-fa-fa-fath-father, i-i-i-i-i-i-I'll be back s-s-s-s-s-soo-soo-soo-soon."
Exactly 2 hours later the stuttering man returns, only this time carrying 2 empty boxes and $500 cash.
The pastor is at a loss for words. So much so, that he's questioning whether the stuttering man is coming across these funds legitimately.
He pulls the man aside and asks, "Son, while myself and the church thank you for your efforts in selling these bibles, we want to make sure not to take advantage of common people. Most of my volunteers take upwards of a month to sell a single box of Bibles, and you've sold 3 boxes in a few hours. May I ask what you're telling these people when you approach their home?"
"W-w-w-w-we-we-well f-ff-f-f-f-fa-fa-fath-father it-it-it-it-its qui-q-q-q-qui-quite s-s-s-s-s-s-si-sim-simple."
"I ju-ju-ju-ju-just ask the-the-th-th-th-the-them if th-th-th-th-the-the-they'd l-l-l-l-li-li-li-li-lik-like to b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bu-bu-buy a b-b-b-bi-bi-bi-bible or if they w-w-w-w-w-wa-wa-wa-wan-want me to re-re-re-rea-read it to them."
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
Things we all do:
Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣
I do this too often!
What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
What do you call cancers? Loyal, protective, and caring.
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!