Flip-flop jokes
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?
Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!
Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).
Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.
So, my mom has hit me with a flip flop when I was bad, and when I cheated on my girl, right when the other girl came in, a flip flop came flying in the room.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.
It's ya boy Dixbfloppin!
Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: What鈥檚 the most popular video game at the bread bakery?
A: Knead for Speed.
Q: Why is Santa good at karate?
A: He has a black belt.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Let鈥檚 stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: What鈥檚 a math teacher鈥檚 favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Let鈥檚 stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: What鈥檚 a math teacher鈥檚 favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: What鈥檚 a firefly鈥檚 favorite dance?
A: The glitterbug.
Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?
A: Because they always make-up.
Q: Where do roses sleep at night?
A: In their flowerbed.
Q: Why was the shoe bad at gymnastics?
A: She was a flip-flop.
Q: What should you wear to a tea party?
A: A t-shirt.
Q: What鈥檚 rain鈥檚 favorite accessory?
A: A rainbow.
Q: Where does a sink go dancing?
A: The Dish-co.
Q: What鈥檚 a princess鈥檚 favorite time?
A: Knight time.
Q: Why did the Genie get mad?
A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.
Q: What鈥檚 a ballerina鈥檚 favorite type of bread?
A: A bun.
Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?
A: Hip hop.
Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?
A: Shop 鈥榯il they hop.
Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?
A: She nailed it.
Q: What is corn鈥檚 favorite music?
A: Pop.
Q: Why can鈥檛 Monday lift Saturday?
A: It鈥檚 a weak day.
Q: Why was the politician out of breath?
A: He was running for office.
Q: What is a soccer player鈥檚 favorite chemical element?
A: Goooooooooooold!
Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?
A: He was a cheetah.
Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?
A: Pennsylvania.
Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?
A: Inside.
Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?
A: He forgot his lawsuit.
Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?
A: He crashed the computer.
Q: What鈥檚 a ball that you don鈥檛 throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?
A: An eyeball.
Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?
A: Shells.
Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?
A: In the fall.
Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?
A: Because he knew he would pass.
Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?
A: Because it was flat.
Q: Why didn鈥檛 the farmer's son study medicine?
A: Because he wanted to go into a different field.
Q: What is the math teacher鈥檚 favorite dessert?
A: Pi.
Q: Why was the princess in the emergency room?
