Call jokes
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
Memes
UHM U CANT CALL PPLS FAT NOWADAYS
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂