Belief jokes
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
What do you call a reverse exorcism?
It's where a demon pulls a priest out of a child.
"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)
What do orphans go to church for?
So they can call someone "father."
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
Why do orphans pray to God?
So they have someone to call father.
To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they have someone to call "Father."
My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}
Why don't churches have WiFi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
You wanna hear a good joke, kiddos?
Gods being real. (Newsflash, all gods are manmade. THEY'RE ALL FICTION!)
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.
Religion
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck her hahaha 🤣
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!