Belief Jokes

Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂

When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?

If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?

The top part of the image shows text on a tan fabric that says "She's broken because she believed" with the words "she" and "believed" in a different, more muted, color. The bottom part of the image says "No one:" and "Him:" above an image of a pot lid.

A priest walked in and said to the kids,

"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"

When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...

Why do orphans go to church?

Because there they have a father.

Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.

Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!

Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.

God: *SILENCE*

Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!

God: *SILENCE*

Two nuns in a bathtub.

One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"

The other nun says, "It sure does."

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"