Belief jokes

Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.

We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.

God's consciousness: Art.

God's unconsciousness: Christianity.

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?

One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.

(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)

My name is Jamar and I come from afar, ALLAHU AKBAR!

The undertaker's famous saying is "Rest In Peace" to all of his opponents, but really they don't rest in peace. The only peace they get is from God.

When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.

Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

Where do terrorists go for a drink?

At the Allahu-ak Bar.

Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?

What is another name 🤔 for Holy water 💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧 💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧 🚽 toilet water.

An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.

The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"

And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.

What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?

Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.

Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There's no menu. You get what you deserve!

Kat, what? I did. A cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! So funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time of Do you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin?

I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.

I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.

(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)

You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"

They jinxed it by saying "never sink."

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.

That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭