Psychic jokes

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four-chin teller.

A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.

Went to see a psychic the other day.

I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

So I turned around and left.

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?

He's a small medium at large.

Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?

Mr. Mime!

The British Society of Psychics' annual convention had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!

Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?

There is a small medium at large.

I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.

—Shane Richie, British actor

A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.

How does a crazy person get to the woods?

He takes the psychopath.

I can see my future in your forehead.

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large!

I'm psychicking your butt.