Philosophy jokes

Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.

"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."

- Sun Tzu

Violence isn't the answer. It's the question, and the answer is yes.

I don't want to die.

Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Has anyone alive ever died?

Is this our eternal life?

I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.

"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."

People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.

I’m rather relaxed about death.

From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

Eugenics is Hitler-like and, more importantly, feminist thinking.

Is it all right when there is nothing left?

An optimist says, "The glass is half full."

A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."

A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."

Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"

I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.

—Shane Richie, British actor

Killing someone is better than killing yourself.

In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.

One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

I exist.

A true God would be godless himself.