Belief

Belief jokes

Orphanage

What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?

"Let us pray."

Sex

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

Sniper

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

Rhyme

HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.

God

What's the difference between a God and my mom?

My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."

Priest

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

Hairline

I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.

Luck

Guys, say "A wrecked isle dysfunction" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

Orphan

Orphan: I finally have a father!

God: And who is that?

Orphan: You!

God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.

Orphan: :l

Church

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

Ugliness

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."