Belief jokes
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂
There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.
In her religion, you NEVER pull out.
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.
In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂
I think that church is super burning 🥵.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Poop is yummy, fuck!
I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.
A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."
The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.