Belief jokes

God is good. God is great.

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.

I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.

If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.

Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...

Hello, this is Godlygirl26. I want to help people with their problems no matter what. There is nothing that God cannot do. I want y'all to know that God is with you, not any of those stone or wood "gods" but a true, loving, powerful God. DM this right here and I will answer. Hope I can help you! Love, Godlygirl26.

Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

Why can't religion and science agree?

Because science creates skyscrapers, and religion combines with skyscrapers.

They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.

In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.

How do you confuse a ginger? Throw a cross at them.

I once put the Bible in the fiction section.

Jesus is fake,

He hides from himself.

I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.

Nuns be like: Can I spread the word, but check for you?

My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}