New Belief Jokes

If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?

Jokes are like Indians.

They never die, they just get reincarnated.

How do you know you’re at a gay church?

Half the congregation is kneeling.

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:

"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

The fool says in his brain, "There is a god."

I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?

How do flat-earthers travel?

On a plane.

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

I believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?

"Let us pray."

The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.

One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”

“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”

“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?

His running mate has 34 of them!

Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?

Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."

But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"

Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.

Religion crashes them.

Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"

So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."

He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"