Behavior jokes

Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It felt like it.

What's black and white and red all over?

The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.

You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.

Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.

Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.

You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.

When you see your mom.

Me: bruh

Her: Are you serious right now bro?

Me: Yeah no shit.

Her: *slaps me*

Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.

My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

EDP445 is a cupcake. Look it up.

Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because why not?

If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.

"Hey, look at me, I'm stupid named Jordan C who won't shut up and leave Addison alone."

What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?

One is a snack cracker.

The other, a crack snacker.

Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.