Behavior jokes
What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
EDP445 is a cupcake. Look it up.
Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Men
What makes emos jump?
Bridges.
Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."
HELP! HELP!
TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
Why go to sleep because he was bossy?
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
Why are my students so naughty?
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Stop being disrespectful to all those people and their parents. Oh, I forgot, they don't have any parents.
How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark crying.
None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Kick the chair out from under them.