Behavior jokes
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.
My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.
Memes
EDP445 is a cupcake. Look it up.
Sorry man, but I got to say one thing. You know when a bully in a movie walks to you, then they walk up to you, and they smell you and say, "What are you doing?"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because why not?
If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).
Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?
So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.
"Hey, look at me, I'm stupid named Jordan C who won't shut up and leave Addison alone."
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What makes emos jump?
Bridges.
Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.