Behavior jokes

What's black and white and red all over?

The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.

You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.

Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.

My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”

EDP445 is a cupcake. Look it up.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

We need to stop making orphan jokes like this because they aren’t mean enough. We need more cruel jokes.

You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.

What animal jumps the highest?

An emo kid, some of them are still up there.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.

Why did the man get on the bus to get sussy?

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.

Jonny went to Disney and they had sour balls. He asked the cashier for some and he pulled down his pants.

The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.

She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭

What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?

They all produce horrible shit.

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

Why go to sleep because he was bossy?

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!