Behavior jokes
If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?
He left him hanging.
Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?
The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍
If you're bored, hump Danny and fuck him. What is he, goons do fuck rock?
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!
There are two types of people, avoid them both.
People are so f***ed up. I belated "Frickin' BTW!"
What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?
They all produce horrible shit.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan because what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call emo girls?
Cutting boards.
I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.