Behavior jokes

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.

Texter 2: How?

Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?

Turkish.

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

Where's your off button?

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It felt like it.

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Why are gay dudes so rude?

Because they are fucking assholes.

My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.

I hung something else instead.

Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.

What's the difference between a bird and an emo?

Birds fly.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

You realize we are tolerating you, right?

Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.

Trust.

Cannibals sucking each other's dick.

Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.

Yo mama is so strict that in The Outsiders, she was Darry.