Behavior jokes
I said, "Are you half left or half right?"
"Neither! In-between."
"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."
Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they are fucking assholes.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
Three good friends decided to meet in their favorite caffe.
The meetup was a successful one, because they all enjoyed themselves.
My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIIIIDE!!!
Habit.
Why was Goofy in the bathroom?
He was goofing off!
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.
What did the fish say to the other fish when it got hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!