Behavior jokes

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.

And an exorcism.

Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.

Texter 2: How?

Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.

I hung something else instead.

"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."

Why are gay dudes so rude?

Because they are fucking assholes.

What's the difference between a bird and an emo?

Birds fly.

Trust.

Cannibals sucking each other's dick.

Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.

You realize we are tolerating you, right?

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

Yo mama is so strict that in The Outsiders, she was Darry.

What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?

Turkish.

You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.

Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.

EDP445 is a cupcake. Look it up.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

Where's your off button?

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣