Behavior jokes
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?
Answer: Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!
I love punching orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their mum?
Should I slap Flynn's ass?
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
We need to stop making orphan jokes like this because they aren’t mean enough. We need more cruel jokes.
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It felt like it.
The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.
Trust.
Cannibals sucking each other's dick.
Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
Did you know emos are the highest jumpers? Some of them are still in the air.
Bully: My mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Me: (quiet)
Bully: HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU.
Me: Are you talking to yourself? Because I was listening to music until I heard you.
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.