Behavior jokes

A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."

The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."

A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.

When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”

Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."

Trashy pig woman: "Why?"

Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.

Anal sex is for A**holes.

This page is shocking.

What's wrong with you people?

If you're white and you're racist to someone, don't do anything.

Why do some people keep posting lame jokes about 9/11?

Answer; Because they are STUPID LOSERS!

Yo mama so clumsy, she gave birth to you.

Your dad is so stupid that when he jumped the fence, the gate was open.

If you spell "swim" backwards you get "miws."

Where is my dad?

A guy walked into a bar.

A guy walked out of a bar.

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

Orphan jokes are just hurtful, and that is all they are, so please stop.

I'm autistic.

A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

Why did the cat cross the road?

To die.

Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.