Bank Jokes

Ps. My brother made this up when he had no meds.... I almost died 😅

What does ATM stand for........

Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom

😂🤣

dudeeeee if ur at the atm wouldent that mean ur buying ur own money?

Why did the ophan rob the bank: Because he/she wanted to be wanted

What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunts annus?

The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.

A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a long and difficult search, he traced the bandit to his home town. On a hunch, he checked the town's cantina, and sure enough, there was the robber. The only other people in the bar were the bartender and a scrawny, older man at a back table. The time was right to make a move. The ranger drew his revolver, charged into the cantina, and announced: "You are under arrest. I get a reward for you, dead or alive. Tell me where the money is, and I'll let you live. If you don't, I'll shoot you right here, and save myself the trouble of having to take you back to Texas alive." But the bandit didn't speak English, and the Ranger didn't speak Spanish. As it turned out, the scrawny man at the back of the bar happenedd to be a lawyer. He knew the robber, and was bilingual, and quickly offered to translate for the two of them. The ranger said: "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where the loot is, I'll shoot him here and now." Upon hearing what the Ranger had said, and seeing the cold look in his eye, the bandit knew that the Ranger meant it - if he did not give up his loot, he was a dead man. Terrified, the bandit blurted out in Spanish that the loot was buried in an old barn at the outskirts of town. "What did he say?" asked the Ranger. The lawyer answered: "He said, 'You don't have the nerve to shoot me, Yankee swine.'"

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

Thanks for coming!

Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.

Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion? Because there not wanted yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank;)

If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes

got fired from the bank yesterday

they caught me drinking on the job

Why did the rapper go to the bank?

To make some MONEY MOVES

Why did the rapper go to the bank?

To make some CASH WITHDRAWALS

Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?

A black guy

my job is so amazing. today a man asked me to check his balance, so i pushed him over. his balance isn't good

The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison

Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light put when she touched him.

Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank!

What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend? Ain't you got no cents? Piggy: Actually, no. Just pork.

What’s the difference between a mediocre thief and professional thief? The mediocre thief will say “give me all your money!” And a professional thief will say “sign here please.”