Asked jokes

Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"

Mom replied with, "That's your father."

I asked an orphan where his parents were.

(God, I wish I knew)

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.

I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.

I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”