Asked Jokes

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide, the librarian responds with ”fuck off you won’t bring it back!”


So I asked a Chinese woman for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight ." Her friend said "No, it's 666-3629."


My sister asked me what is dark humour i asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? KINDERSURPRISE!

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked If I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt and he disappeared. Shame on you Penaldo.

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but fell asleep.

A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."

A woman walk into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"

I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage

An asian student was learning logarithm in class, he wrote down his name after the question, teacher asked why, "my class ID is number 1"

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen hawking.

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb so I asked "are you an orphan?" "Yes" he replied "what gave me away?" He asked "your parents" I said.

A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage, he replied," Yes I'm very happy. We go on date night every week. The other man asked when? She goes on wednesday and I go on thursday