A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide, the librarian responds with ”fuck off you won’t bring it back!”
So I asked a Chinese woman for her number, she said "sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight ." Her friend said "No, it's 666-3629."
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said "I'm a frayed knot
My sister asked me what is dark humour i asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? KINDERSURPRISE!
I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked If I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt and he disappeared. Shame on you Penaldo.
My grandma asked me if I could visit her
I told her no I don’t like graveyards
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but fell asleep.
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "do you want to join my family tree?"
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
A woman walk into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked is this train running on time, I said no it runs on steam and coal
I asked a emo kid if they are jealous because their phone died before them.
I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage
An asian student was learning logarithm in class, he wrote down his name after the question, teacher asked why, "my class ID is number 1"
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen hawking.
One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans but they ran away when I asked if they had papers
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb so I asked "are you an orphan?" "Yes" he replied "what gave me away?" He asked "your parents" I said.
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage, he replied," Yes I'm very happy. We go on date night every week. The other man asked when? She goes on wednesday and I go on thursday
I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him
I asked a orphan his parents was
( God I wish know)
