Asked jokes

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.

He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."

I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.

Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.

I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"

My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.

A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.