Asked jokes

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.

So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.

In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.

My pp was in the Guinness World Record book.

The librarian then asked me to take it out.

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:

"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?

The husband answers her: Pretty.

The wife responds: Thank yo-

The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!

So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.

Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!

I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.

I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."

Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?

Ask an orphan.

The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.

Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"

A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"

And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."

A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.

A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

I saw a kid in the yard and I asked where are your parents.

Then I got fired from the orphanage.

Why did the boy ask a question to the girl?

If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.

I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.