A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
Animal Jokes
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says...
"Why the long face?"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
How do you count cows with a cowculator?
Who is chicken's favorite actor?
James Cor-hen!
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
Sheep want to wool the world :)
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Foxy the fox was a careless fox. She didn't care about her friend Froggy.
Froggy was a careful frog. One day, Froggy decided to teach the fox a lesson.
Foxy was in her bed sleeping when Froggy made her room an entire mess. She got up, and then her mother berated her for not cleaning her room. From now on, she is a careful fox.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
