Animal jokes
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
Memes
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
The chicken wasn’t invented then.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!
A funny joke:
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.