Animal jokes
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck its cock.
Why can't you play memory snap in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A-lick-a-lot-of-puss.
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
Memes
water puppy
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
The chicken wasn’t invented then.
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says...
"Why the long face?"