Animal jokes
My dog died. I'm so sad.
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck its cock.
Why can't you play memory snap in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A-lick-a-lot-of-puss.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
Sheep want to wool the world :)
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
How do you count cows with a cowculator?
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"