Animal jokes
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says...
"Why the long face?"
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
Sheep want to wool the world :)
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
How do you count cows with a cowculator?
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!