Animal jokes
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says mo mo.
Teacher: Good.
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says maa maaa.
Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."
Why did the chicken explode? Because he pooped his pants!
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
Octopus, more like octopussy.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Pssh.
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
Okay, so basically I'm monky.
When my dog barks, he gets ruff.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.